January

January is a special month as it brings so much- a new year, home study updates, the start of new classes, and another year of being married to my wonderful husband... just to name a few. This January marks our 6th year of marriage. I really did marry my best friend and every day I feel so lucky to have him. We can never have enough time together and we're constantly finding new things we have in common. It is fun to be married to someone as unique, as I don't know what you would call us :), as I am! We often finish each others sentences if not say things simultaneously. We have the same dreams, goals, and aspirations. In a good way, as each year comes and goes I never feel like it has been THIS long! It feels like just yesterday we were going out to eat just as friends, IMing each other for hours a day realizing we just needed to meet up and talk, randomly running into each other, going on our first official date, and then after a couple years of dating: marriage! I love my husband and am so glad that God answered my prayers and sent him my way. I prayed for my husband and son long before I ever knew who they would be. Looking back it is amazing who the Lord has blessed me with and where he has led me. If you would have asked me years ago who I thought I would marry and what my child would be like- my answer wouldn't have anything describing my life today. I am so thankful that God is in control, because who he provided me with is far greater than anybody I could have ever envisioned. Now that I have them both I'm constantly reminded how lucky I am. Blessed, maybe is a better word.

I love our son more than I can express and he is so wonderful. I see all the children in Haiti and my heart goes out to them. I see all the people and devastation and remember back to Ethiopia. I can't image adding an earthquake to the mix. K and I were watching a video on another blog and he was very interested.--side note-- We have probably let him watch one or two video's in his life, but those are Amharic video's (Teshai loves learning) and he only watches them for short periods of time due to his short attention span. --We watched the whole video and he had a sad, concerned look on his face when they showed the people in Haiti. The movie is really neat. It is about an couple who adopted a son from Haiti and his homecoming. This weekend we were asked if K is from Haiti. I am sure we will get a lot of that now but the good news is that people are beginning to become more informed about adoption.

The blog I mentioned is also neat because we met this couple in Dubai leaving the hotel. We rode the same bus to the airport and flew over on the same airplane into Ethiopia. We were both on our way to pick up our son's. They received their son on the 13th and we received ours on the 12th. Which is strange in its own way as we were supposed to meet our son on the 13th and they were supposed to meet theirs on the 12th. We knew right away that they were adopting because they carried a binder packed with paperwork and anyone adopting/who has adopted knows what I am talking about. She found our blog a few days back and posted. I knew they looked familiar and noticed we were both in ET the same time. I thought how funny it was that we didn't run into each other the whole time we were there and then it hit me! They were the couple on the bus with us and at the airport. It is so neat to hear about what they have been up to and catch up.

K started daycare this past week. He LOVES it and I do too. The ladies are wonderful and he is in such great hands. I never worry when I drop him off and they always tell me how good he is (and they are right, he is such a good kid). When I dropped him off this last time he ran to the other kids and yelled "bye" to me while running. He was so funny about it because it was a "I'm good mom, what are you still doing here?" kind of bye! It was so cute and it is nice because he is so social. He craves to be around other kids. He only goes a couple of times per week while I attend school. When I pick him up he comes running to see me and babbles about his day. He can say a lot of words but his speech is a lot like my Amharic. Limited and sentences are a thing to desire. So he does a lot of gesturing while telling me about everything and skips words in his excitement- so its a lot of syllable sounds.

K's teacher is looking to adopt so I was telling her about it. She is so nice and I am excited for her. She was asking about what was hard, that's an easy question: The path to get to a child, your child, is a rough road with lots of dead ends, steep hills, twists and turns, but none the less it's a path. Even though it seems like you'll never reach your destination, once you do the euphoria and joy that comes with it is hard to explain. Once you have your child you're so busy and enjoying every moment that it no longer matters. I don't mean that you forget the wait. I'll never forget the heartache of hearing "one more day, one more day, just another day" but it IS worth it. I've always heard the expression "the pitter patter of little feet" and have never been able to enjoy it until now. I love to hear Nati run around and hear his little feet as he heads toward whatever destination he has in mind. The endless giggles, snuggles, smiles, words, the way he enjoys being chased, etc. all of this is such a gift. Adoption is so wonderful I can't imagine anyone not choosing this path. It didn't need to be an option for us. It was a first choice and it is one of our best!

I have had people flat out ask me recently "What it is like having a black child"? This question and others like it come out of curiosity more than anything. So if there is anyone out there reading this and thinking about adoption esp. from Africa- know I wouldn't change a thing. I don't think in terms of he is black and I am white. I see him as my child, given to watch, love, and protect by God. I strongly believe God knew he would be our son. He has so many characteristics that both my husband and I have. It is amazing how much we feel like he was "matched to our family" by God and through our agency. He fits in perfectly. I saw other adoptive families and kids while we were adopting and often wondered "who were they supposed to be matched to" some had difficult personalities, some were so shy, some very outgoing, etc. The personalities were so vast. Then when I saw the child and their family I knew so many times that that child was perfect for that family. There are two families specifically that stand out in my mind. One little girl looked so dejected and unhappy and wouldn't let anyone close to her. My heart ached when I saw her. I watched her and knew that she wouldn't do well with just anyone, it would take a special family for her to adjust and have a happy life. I have told the family this several times and I am sure they think I am nuts. But as I got to know the family better, I knew, even before they went to get her, that they were that perfect family. I see her on their blog and she is happy and smiling and I am so thankful for them and their decision. Another little boy I fell in love with while in ET. He and Nati were in the same area and the child was precious. His personality and everything was so sweet and outgoing. I watched him in his living area and his interaction with other children. I knew God had a special family planned for him also. I never imagined how perfect until I started talking to his family and heard about all his siblings and parents, I knew that they also were the family for him and the joy to find out about each of his siblings. He did fit right in and I love to hear updates about everyone in the family. I can't adequately describe what I've experienced and how perfect the families were that were matched to these children but I know that it was their open heart and a God thing that it all happened the way it did.

It is the same way I feel about our child. God knew what we could and could not handle, the personality that would fit, etc. and I know it was meant to be. I hate that his parent's can't be around to see him. I love him and I know we'll never get to meet them except through the actions and looks of our child. But I do desire to meet them. I wish that he didn't have to go through what he did to get to us. However knowing that the world is not perfect and children are left without birth parents, it's nice to know that we can now be his forever parents.

Another question: NO, it is not "weird" to have a black child. In fact having our son has helped develop relationships, and opened my eyes in so many ways. I never knew how many items were geared for "white people" until I wanted to get my son a variety of items: Dolls (not that I want him to have a doll-just making a point), books, ads, toys, etc. are hard to find. There might be 20 dolls that are white and a handful of other dolls of specific ethnicity, then maybe one of the set might have an African person. A lot of times I've found I'm out of luck.

As far as comments- Really, I haven't had more than one or two "bad" comments. I'm sure that day will come when we do get a BAD one, but I know when people see us with our son they know we are a family and happy to be one. I have noticed when it is just K and I out together I do get judged- people will look at me with strange looks trying to figure everything out, or give nasty looks (rolling my eyes), every once and a while I get the "whats up" look :). It isn't until someone looks at me funny or asks a question that I realize why. But they are judging me and my actions. Their assumptions are wrong and sometimes it gives a perfect opportunity to talk about adoption! Still I go back to the fact that we are both people, family, and most importantly he is my son. I know I don't feel any different about him than if I would have had a biological child. I don't notice any differences until something brings it to my attention. I love that we have a mixed heritage in the house. We can celebrate each others culture together, and that is fun. I am proud that he is Ethiopian. I can also say that having a child of a different ethnicity is a WHOLE LOT of fun. I can dress him up in ways I could never dress up a biological child. I love buying colors and styles of clothes that I have never been able to actually consider before due to it not looking good with a complexion.

I have a lot more I could say but I love adoption, I love that we have an Ethiopian child, and I love our son and all the joy he brings!